Table of Contents
I Used to Write Generic, Useless Recommendations. Then I Learned to Stop Following Recipes and Start Cooking Like a Chef.
I still remember the feeling of staring at the blinking cursor, a knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach.
Sarah, my manager for the past four years, was leaving.
This wasn’t just any manager.
Sarah was a mentor in the truest sense of the word.
She was the one who saw potential in me I didn’t see in myself, who pushed me to lead projects that terrified me, and who had the uncanny ability to deliver critical feedback in a way that felt like a gift, not a judgment.
When she asked me to write her a LinkedIn recommendation, I felt a profound sense of responsibility.
I wanted to do her justice.
I wanted to capture the essence of her leadership.
So, I did what I thought you were supposed to do.
I opened a dozen tabs, searching for “linkedin recommendation sample for manager”.1
I found countless templates and lists of “power words”.2
I dutifully followed the instructions.
I started with a “strong opening line”.4
I stated our professional relationship.
I sprinkled in adjectives like “inspiring,” “dedicated,” and “strategic”.5
I listed her key responsibilities.
The result was a perfectly constructed, grammatically correct, and utterly soulless paragraph.
It was technically accurate but emotionally hollow.
It was a recommendation that could have been about anyone.
It was flavorless.
Reading it back, I felt a wave of shame.
This generic testimonial didn’t capture an ounce of the leader who had fundamentally shaped my career.
It felt less like an honor and more like an insult.
This failure sent me down a rabbit hole.
Why does following the “rules” so often lead to a result that feels so wrong? What separates a recommendation that’s merely polite from one that is genuinely powerful and persuasive? I was convinced there had to be a better Way.
The Epiphany: Stop Looking for Recipes, Learn How to Cook
My breakthrough didn’t come from another business article or a networking guru.
It came, oddly enough, while I was trying to cook a complicated French dish.
I was following a recipe word-for-word, yet the result was bland.
It hit me with the force of a dropped cast-iron skillet: I was making the exact same mistake with my recommendations.
I had been acting like a nervous home cook, clinging to a recipe for dear life.
I was using pre-packaged ingredients (buzzwords) and following a rigid set of instructions (templates), hoping for a gourmet result.
It never works in the kitchen, and it certainly doesn’t work in professional communication.
This led me to a new paradigm, a completely different way of thinking about the task.
- The Recommendation Cook: This person follows templates blindly. They use generic buzzwords like pre-packaged, flavorless ingredients. They assemble the recommendation, focusing on getting the task done quickly. The result is functional but forgettable, like a frozen dinner. It provides sustenance but no delight.7
- The Recommendation Chef: This person understands first principles—the fundamentals of what makes a leader effective. They source fresh, unique ingredients in the form of specific stories and anecdotes. They understand their “diner” (the manager and their career goals) and craft a bespoke dish—a memorable narrative that tells a compelling story. Their goal isn’t just to complete a task; it’s to create an experience.9
The goal, I realized, was not to find a better template.
The goal was to become a better “chef.” A great recommendation isn’t just written; it’s crafted.
This reframes the entire process.
It’s not a writing task; it’s a thinking, observing, and storytelling task.
This doesn’t mean templates or structure are useless.
A chef still uses tools—knives, pans, a stove.
The structure of a recommendation is a tool.
A cook uses it to assemble a bland meal.
A chef uses that same structure as a framework for artistry, filling it with substance, nuance, and flavor.
This guide will teach you how to use that structure like a chef.
Part I: The Chef’s Mise en Place — Sourcing Your Ingredients Before You Ever Start Writing
In any high-end kitchen, the “mise en place” (French for “everything in its place”) is the sacred ritual of preparation.
The chef meticulously chops, measures, and organizes every ingredient before a single pan is heated.
This is the secret to a smooth, successful service.
The same principle applies here: an impactful recommendation is 90% preparation and 10% writing.
A chef would never start cooking without sourcing the best ingredients; you should never start writing without sourcing the best stories.
The Art of Observation: Moving Beyond the Resume
A great recommendation provides insights that a resume or a LinkedIn profile never could.11
It doesn’t just list
what a manager achieved; it reveals how they achieved it.
It speaks to their character, their methods, and their unique impact on the people around them.
To do this, you need to become a keen observer of your manager in action.
The best way to source these “fresh ingredients” is to keep what I call an “Impact Journal.” This isn’t a diary of grievances; it’s a professional practice of noting specific moments of effective leadership.13
Instead of waiting until you’re asked for a recommendation and trying to recall details from years past, you build a small, private repository of meaningful stories over time.
What should you look for? Go beyond the generic “leadership” label and watch for concrete actions:
- Crisis Management: How did they react when a major project went off the rails or a client was furious? Did they panic and assign blame, or did they remain calm, organize a solution, and protect the team?.6
- Delivering Feedback: Think of a time they had to give you or a colleague difficult feedback. How did they handle it? Did it demotivate, or did it clarify expectations and inspire improvement?
- Team Motivation: What did they do to keep morale high during a stressful period? How did they turn a tense meeting into a productive one?.4
- Mentorship Moments: Can you recall a specific piece of advice they gave you that changed your perspective or a time they advocated for your growth when no one was watching?.11
- Strategic Thinking: Describe a moment they connected the team’s daily tasks to the company’s bigger picture, giving your work a deeper sense of purpose.
These specific, vivid moments are the prime ingredients for a powerful recommendation.
They are the details that bring a person’s professional character to life.
Consulting the “Diner”: Aligning Your Dish with Their Goals
A great chef always considers the preferences of their diner.
They might be a master of seafood, but if the diner is allergic to shellfish, that expertise is useless.
Similarly, your recommendation, no matter how well-written, will fall flat if it isn’t aligned with your manager’s career goals.
The process of writing a recommendation should be a co-creative act.
The smartest professionals, when asking for a recommendation, will provide context about their goals and the key skills they’d like to see highlighted.7
This isn’t “cheating” or putting words in your mouth; it’s providing the chef with the diner’s preferences so you can craft the most relevant and helpful dish.
If your manager simply asks, “Will you write me a recommendation?” without providing this context, it is your job as the “chef” to ask for it.
This is a crucial step that transforms your recommendation from a generic compliment into a strategic career asset for them.2
You can do this with a simple, professional message:
“Hi [Manager’s Name], I’d be honored to write a recommendation for you.
I truly valued my time working on your team.
To make sure it’s as helpful as possible for your next chapter, could you share a little about the types of roles you’re exploring? Knowing if there are any specific projects, skills, or leadership qualities from our time together that you feel would be most valuable to highlight would help me write the strongest possible endorsement for you.”
This conversation does two things.
First, it ensures your recommendation is strategically targeted and genuinely useful.
Second, it signals your own professionalism and thoughtfulness, strengthening your long-term relationship with a valuable contact.
Part II: The Chef’s Technique — The Five-Course Structure of an Unforgettable Recommendation
Once you’ve done your prep work—your mise en place—it’s time to start cooking.
This is where we take the structure of a standard recommendation and elevate it from a bland template into a framework for a compelling narrative.
Think of it not as a rigid formula, but as a five-course tasting menu, where each part has a distinct purpose and builds upon the last.
| The Five-Course Structure of an Unforgettable Recommendation |
| Course 1: The Amuse-Bouche (The Powerful Hook)Purpose: Grab the reader’s attention instantly and set a powerful tone.Chef’s Tip: Don’t warm up. Start with your single most powerful, defining statement about the person. Avoid clichés like “I’m pleased to recommend…” and instead, offer a striking and authentic observation.4 |
| Course 2: The Appetizer (The Context)Purpose: Quickly and clearly establish your credibility to make this endorsement.Chef’s Tip: State your relationship, their role, and the duration of your work together. This provides the “social proof” that makes your opinion trustworthy. Keep it concise—one or two sentences is all you need.6 |
| Course 3: The Main Course (The Core Story)Purpose: This is the heart of your recommendation. It provides the concrete evidence that backs up your claims.Chef’s Tip: Don’t list skills; tell one specific, compelling story from your Impact Journal that shows their best quality in action. This is where you demonstrate, not just declare, their value.10 |
| Course 4: The Palate Cleanser (The Human Element)Purpose: Add warmth and personality, showing what they are like to work with as a human being.Chef’s Tip: Share a small, authentic detail about their personality or work style that enhances their professional impact. Did they have a great sense of humor under pressure? Did they always start meetings by checking in on the team? This makes them three-dimensional.4 |
| Course 5: The Dessert (The Conclusive Endorsement)Purpose: End with a strong, definitive, and enthusiastic statement of support.Chef’s Tip: Leave no room for ambiguity. Your final sentence should be a clear, unequivocal recommendation that summarizes your confidence in them.3 |
The Alchemy of Storytelling: Turning Traits into Tales
The single most powerful technique a “Recommendation Chef” can master is the art of turning a generic trait into a specific tale.
The research is overwhelmingly clear: anecdotes and specific examples are far more persuasive than generalizations and buzzwords.8
A story is the most efficient vehicle for conveying both competence and character at the same time.
Stating that a manager has “grace under pressure” is telling.
Describing
how they demonstrated it during a crisis is showing, and it’s infinitely more powerful.
Here is the three-step alchemical process to transform a bland trait into a golden story:
- Identify the Trait (The “Tell”): Start with the cliché you want to communicate. For example, you want to say your manager is a “great problem-solver” and “supportive leader.”
- Find the Proof (The “Show”): Dig into your Impact Journal or your memory for a specific, concrete moment that proves this trait. Don’t just think of a project; think of a single, critical event within that project. For example: “The time our main client threatened to pull their contract two weeks before the deadline.”
- Narrate the Action (The Story): Briefly set the scene, describe the specific actions your manager took, and explain the positive outcome. This is your “Main Course.”
Let’s see it in action:
- The Cook’s Version (The “Tell”): “David is a great problem-solver and a supportive leader. He is skilled at client management and always motivates his team.”
- The Chef’s Version (The “Show”): “We faced a crisis when our largest client threatened to pull their seven-figure contract due to a misunderstanding about project scope. Instead of pointing fingers, David immediately scheduled a call, not to defend our position, but to listen. His ability to calmly absorb their frustration and validate their concerns de-escalated the situation in minutes. He then worked with the team not to assign blame, but to architect a revised plan that addressed their core needs without derailing our timeline. He didn’t just save the contract; his leadership during that tense week turned a near-disaster into our strongest client relationship.”
The second version is a story.
It demonstrates problem-solving, client management, leadership, and grace under pressure without ever needing to use those specific words.
It is credible, memorable, and infinitely more persuasive.
This is the alchemy that separates a forgettable recommendation from an unforgettable one.
Part III: The Chef’s Plating — Masterclass Examples and Essential Tools
The final stage of any culinary creation is the plating.
It’s about presentation, refinement, and ensuring every element on the plate is perfect.
In this section, we’ll deconstruct finished “dishes”—powerful recommendations—and provide you with the tools to polish your own work to a professional sheen.
Signature Dishes: Three Deconstructed Recommendation Examples
Here are three complete, high-quality recommendations written from scratch.
Each is tailored to a different type of managerial strength and is followed by a “Chef’s Deconstruction” that shows how it maps to our five-course framework.
Example 1: The Mentor Manager
This recommendation focuses on a manager whose greatest strength is developing their people.11
The Recommendation:
“Few people have the opportunity to report to a manager who is also a world-class coach and mentor, but I did for the three years I worked for Maria.
I was a junior analyst on her team at Innovate Corp, and she was the Director of Strategy.
I’ll never forget my first major presentation to the executive board.
I was incredibly nervous, but the day before, Maria didn’t just review my slides; she spent an hour coaching me on storytelling, anticipating difficult questions, and building my confidence.
She told me, ‘Your analysis is flawless.
Now, let’s make sure they feel the impact of your work.’ That single coaching session fundamentally changed how I approach communication, and thanks to her guidance, the project was approved.
Her ability to see and nurture potential in her team members is a true superpower.
Maria earns my highest possible recommendation.
Any team would be incredibly fortunate to have her leadership and mentorship.”
Chef’s Deconstruction:
- Course 1 (Amuse-Bouche): “Few people have the opportunity to report to a manager who is also a world-class coach and mentor, but I did for the three years I worked for Maria.” — A powerful, personal hook that immediately defines her key strength.
- Course 2 (Appetizer): “I was a junior analyst on her team at Innovate Corp, and she was the Director of Strategy.” — Clear, concise context.
- Course 3 (Main Course): The entire story about the presentation is the main course. It’s a specific anecdote that shows her coaching ability in action and demonstrates its tangible impact on the writer’s career and a project’s success.
- Course 4 (Palate Cleanser): “Her ability to see and nurture potential in her team members is a true superpower.” — This sentence adds a touch of personality and summarizes the human quality behind the story.
- Course 5 (Dessert): “Maria earns my highest possible recommendation. Any team would be incredibly fortunate to have her leadership and mentorship.” — A strong, unequivocal final endorsement.
Example 2: The Visionary Leader
This recommendation is for a leader who excels at innovation, strategy, and inspiring a team toward a big-picture goal.5
The Recommendation:
“In my 15 years in tech, I’ve rarely encountered a leader with Ken’s rare blend of visionary thinking and practical execution.
I had the privilege of being a lead engineer under Ken’s leadership as VP of Product for two years at OmniTech.
When our flagship product was facing declining market share, many on the leadership team advocated for incremental, safe updates.
Ken championed a bolder vision.
He didn’t just present a roadmap; he painted a vivid picture of a future where our product could redefine the industry.
He had an incredible talent for making a daunting, high-risk pivot feel not only achievable but essential.
He protected the engineering team from internal politics, giving us the autonomy to build, and his clarity of purpose kept us motivated through months of intense work.
- His unwavering optimism, even when faced with setbacks, was the driving force that kept the entire division focused.
- Ken is the kind of leader who doesn’t just manage projects; he builds the future. He has my absolute and highest recommendation.”
Chef’s Deconstruction:
- Course 1 (Amuse-Bouche): “In my 15 years in tech, I’ve rarely encountered a leader with Ken’s rare blend of visionary thinking and practical execution.” — Establishes the writer’s credibility and Ken’s unique value proposition immediately.
- Course 2 (Appetizer): “I had the privilege of being a lead engineer under Ken’s leadership as VP of Product for two years at OmniTech.” — Quick context.
- Course 3 (Main Course): The story of the product pivot serves as the core evidence. It shows his vision, his ability to inspire, and his skill in protecting his team to foster innovation.
- Course 4 (Palate Cleanser): “His unwavering optimism, even when faced with setbacks, was the driving force…” — This highlights a key personality trait that makes his leadership style effective.
- Course 5 (Dessert): “Ken is the kind of leader who doesn’t just manage projects; he builds the future. He has my absolute and highest recommendation.” — A powerful, conclusive statement that reinforces the “visionary” theme.
Example 3: The Stabilizing Force
This recommendation highlights a manager who excels at creating order from chaos, improving processes, and fostering a calm, productive environment.6
The Recommendation:
“‘Ridiculously efficient’ is the phrase that comes to mind when I think of Chloe.
I worked alongside her for four years at Global Logistics, where I was a Project Manager and she was the Director of Operations.
Our department was notoriously chaotic, plagued by shifting priorities and inefficient workflows.
Chloe changed everything.
Within six months, she introduced a new project management system that, at first, the team was resistant to.
But Chloe didn’t just impose the system; she held weekly workshops, listened to our frustrations, and iterated on the process based on our feedback.
Her patience and logical approach won everyone over.
The result? Our team’s on-time project delivery rate increased by 40%, and team burnout noticeably decreased.
She has a gift for making complex processes seem simple.
Chloe would be a transformative asset to any organization seeking operational excellence.
I recommend her without any reservations whatsoever.”
Chef’s Deconstruction:
- Course 1 (Amuse-Bouche): “‘Ridiculously efficient’ is the phrase that comes to mind when I think of Chloe.” — A memorable and intriguing hook.
- Course 2 (Appetizer): “I worked alongside her for four years at Global Logistics, where I was a Project Manager and she was the Director of Operations.” — Establishes a peer/collaborator relationship and context.
- Course 3 (Main Course): The story of implementing the new project management system is the main course. It demonstrates her efficiency, her people skills (listening and iterating), and the measurable impact of her work (a 40% increase in on-time delivery). This use of a specific metric adds immense credibility.20
- Course 4 (Palate Cleanser): “…her patience and logical approach won everyone over.” and “She has a gift for making complex processes seem simple.” — These phrases describe how she works and what makes her pleasant to work with.
- Course 5 (Dessert): “Chloe would be a transformative asset to any organization seeking operational excellence. I recommend her without any reservations whatsoever.” — A strong, specific, and definitive endorsement.
The Chef’s Pantry: A Guide to Flavorful Language & Common Pitfalls
Even the best ingredients can be ruined by poor technique or the wrong seasonings.
This section provides a quick reference guide to help you choose powerful language and avoid common mistakes.
The Chef’s Lexicon: From Bland to Brilliant
This isn’t a list of words to use.
It’s a list of prompts to help you think differently.
Instead of reaching for a generic adjective, use the prompt to trigger a specific story.
| The Cook’s Cliché | The Chef’s Prompt |
| “Results-driven” | “Describe a specific time they achieved a measurable result that truly mattered to the team or company.” |
| “Team player” | “Tell a story about how they resolved a conflict or went out of their way to help a struggling team member succeed.” |
| “Great communicator” | “Give an example of how their communication style clarified a complex issue or persuaded a difficult stakeholder.” |
| “Thinks outside the box” | “Share an instance where they proposed a novel solution to a stubborn problem, and it actually worked.” |
| “Detail-oriented” | “Describe a time their attention to a small detail prevented a major problem down the line.” |
| “Inspiring leader” | “What is one specific thing they said or did that made you personally feel more motivated or engaged in your work?” |
The Six Sins of the Recommendation Cook
Avoid these common pitfalls that immediately signal a low-quality, “Cook”-level recommendation:
- The Sin of Vagueness: Showering praise without a single piece of evidence. It’s the most common and most fatal flaw.7
- The Sin of Transaction: Suggesting a quid pro quo (“I’ll write you one if you write me one”). It cheapens the endorsement and makes it feel inauthentic.7
- The Sin of Pressure: Making unreasonable demands when asking for a recommendation, like a tight deadline. This signals poor planning and often results in a rushed, generic response.7
- The Sin of Hype: Using unbelievable superlatives (“the single greatest manager in the history of the world”). It lacks credibility and can make the reader skeptical.4
- The Sin of Irrelevance: Highlighting qualities that, while positive, have nothing to do with the manager’s future career goals. This is why the “Consult the Diner” step is so critical.2
- The Sin of Laziness: A vague request like “Can you write me a recommendation?” puts the entire burden of thought on the other person. It’s inconsiderate and leads to poor results.7
Conclusion: Becoming a Recommendation Chef
Let’s go back to my manager, Sarah.
After my epiphany, I deleted the bland, template-driven paragraph I had written.
I took a day to think.
I consulted my memory—my own “Impact Journal”—and focused on one story that I felt truly captured her essence.
Then, I started cooking.
Here is what I wrote:
“Few people have the opportunity to report to a manager who is also a coach in the truest sense of the word.
For the four years I worked for Sarah, I was one of the lucky ones.
I had the immense privilege of being managed by Sarah as she led the Marketing division at Acuity Inc.
I will always remember the ‘Phoenix Project,’ a high-stakes campaign that was failing badly before she took it over.
The team was demoralized and the client was losing faith.
Sarah didn’t come in with a grand turnaround plan.
Her first meeting wasn’t even about the project; it was about the team.
She listened to our frustrations for an hour, validating every concern.
Only then did she begin to steer, not by dictating, but by asking questions that helped us find our own way to the solution.
She had this incredible ability to make you feel safe enough to fail, which, paradoxically, made us all perform at our absolute best.
It was her deep empathy, combined with a sharp strategic mind, that made her such a phenomenal leader.
She didn’t just turn the project around; she rebuilt the team’s confidence from the ground up.
Sarah is a rare leader who grows not just businesses, but people.
She has my most enthusiastic and heartfelt recommendation.
Any organization would be profoundly fortunate to have her.”
I sent it to her.
Her response came back within the hour.
She said it was the most thoughtful and meaningful professional kindness she had ever received, and that it genuinely moved her.
Our professional relationship, already strong, became even deeper that day.
That is the power of this approach.
Writing a recommendation is not a chore to be checked off a list.
It is an act of professional generosity and a rare opportunity to publicly honor the people who have shaped our careers.13
By learning to stop following recipes and start thinking like a chef, you give a profound gift to your managers.
But you also do something for yourself.
You elevate your own professional stature, marking yourself as a thoughtful, insightful, and valuable member of any network—a person who understands that the most powerful connections are built on a foundation of genuine, specific, and heartfelt appreciation.
Works cited
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